I provide the following services at the following rates

#1. Trip curation services.

Going on a trip? Want to make sure you have an exceptional experience? Hire me. $250/day of trip.

#2. Detective services.

Have a mystery? Hire me. $500/day, minimum 3 days.

#3. Firing services.

Need to fire someone? Hire me. $50.

#4. Bad news services.

Need to give someone bad news? Hire me. $20.

#5. Prank services.

Would you like prank someone? Hire me. Rate negotiable dependent on complexity and hilarity of the prank.